Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
Why can’t orphans play softball?
They can’t find home.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
Why did the orphan play GTA? So he could get wanted.
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.