Worst Jokes Ever
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
What's an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
What do you call emo kids that are depressed... suicide squad?
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
It was 9/10.
I am gay, is that ok?
I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
I fucking hate school, god damn!
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause he’s dead.