9 jokes

Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.

How do you know that Americans hate exercise?

9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...

They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.

If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?

What is the Mexican police number?

9 Juan Juan.

Why were the Twin Towers mad during 9/11?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead got plane.

Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?

It was the bomb.

Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.

So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."

9/11.

Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.

Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.

A man found out that he was going to die.

A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"

Then he died and learned how to say no in German....

I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.

It didn't land well.

If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?

Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.

Seven ate nine.

I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p