9 jokes
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
Why were the Twin Towers mad during 9/11?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead got plane.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?
It was the bomb.
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
9/11.
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....