9 Jokes

Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.

Seven ate nine.

I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p

If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?

I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

A Hot Pockets package with the text "Made with 100% existential dread. THE ENDLESS COSMIC VOID with the sound of a thousand collapsing stars in a suffocating groan." Instead of a typical filling, the inside shows black tentacles and other strange shapes. There is also text describing the product as "OVERWHELMINGLY STUFFED WITH VISIONS OF THE ABYSS -THE SIZE OF THE UNIVERSE - THE LENGTH OF TIME - THE EDGE OF REALITY" The label says "Nestle Hot Pockets"

Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans. They knocked down two towers, not three.

What happened when two invisible giants knocked over their blocks?

9/11.

Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?

Why was 10 scared? Because he was in-between 9/11.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.

7-Eleven

8-Eleven

9/11

Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

What's 9 + 10? 21.

What's 9 - 10? 21?

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.