911 jokes
This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.
That is just plain wrong.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
MR BEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTT
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!
Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?
Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?
Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Doctor: *calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?
Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?
911 service: *hangs up*
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under the Sea!" (The Little Mermaid)
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?
He Neverland.
Obama got Osama.
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.
Thank God I went on the tenth.