911 jokes
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Obama got Osama.
I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.
Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.
MR BEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTT
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
Why are planes the most dangerous killers?
Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.
Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Why is ten afraid? Because he’s in between nine and eleven.
What's the worst time to fly a plane?
How do terrorists feed their babies?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
911.
911 who?
You said you would never forget.
9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.