911 jokes
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
911 help. Hello?
Never mind, forget it. You're so stupid 😡😡😡😡😏
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
9/11, am I right?
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
SpongeBob did 9/11.
I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.