Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
SpongeBob did 9/11
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
Q-Who’s the fastest readers in the world? A-the 911 victims, they when through 20 stories in seconds
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!
911 help. Hello?
Never mind, forget it. You're so stupid 😡😡😡😡😏
