911 jokes
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
911 jokes usually go over my head.
Then it hits me.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
9/11, am I right?
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
Obama got Osama.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.