11 jokes

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

There is none, they both go up in flames.

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.

A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon!

(9/11 joke)

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was an amazing pilot.

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.

Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.

A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"

"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."

My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"

What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?

9:11 AM

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?

Their ankles.