11 jokes

Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

Spiderman: "Yes."

Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

Spiderman: "Why?"

Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?

One of the missions succeeded.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Who are the fastest readers?

The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.

I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...

Allahu Akbar!

A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

There is none, they both go up in flames.

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon!

(9/11 joke)

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was an amazing pilot.

One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.

I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.

A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"

"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."