What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
Worst Jokes Ever
Minimalism is a scam created by Big Small to sell more less.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
Steps to win a Nerf war:
Step 1. Take out Nerf bullets.
Step 2. Load hollow points.
Step 3. Win!
Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.
If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
The bomb.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a midlife crisis.
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
