Yours jokes

You're so fat that you're as big as UY Scuti!

Your hairline is so ugly, like your mum.

You're more uglier.

Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.

It's still printing.

How do you know you’re at a gay church?

Half the congregation is kneeling.

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."

1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.

From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.

Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.

Kidnapper: ...

Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.

The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.

Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.

Me: Hey, I’m your mom.

Orphan: Yay, you came back!

Me: Sike!

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?