Yours jokes
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.
Your mom uses the equator as a belt.
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.
You can't YEE your last HAW!
But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.