Yours jokes
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
Bully: *Bullies kid*
Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*
Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD
Orphan: :/
Your PP is small, just like my will to live.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.