Yours jokes
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk, walk home? Was your night night? You had fun? I had dinner, night time, and a tree. I had dinner. Is it a magic time? Dinner! I have been home. Was good.
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀