Yours jokes

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

Why don't you have a life?

Because you're ugly.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

What do you never say to gay people?

IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️‍🌈

It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."

Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.

Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:

Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.

Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

I'll put white in your smile.

Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?

Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!