Yours jokes
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Memes
when your grampa hears your music
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Your dad must be a mailman.
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.