Yours jokes
Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?
"Lonely."
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”
The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”
Stormtrooper: What happened with your garden?
Palpatine: Grew it.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
When you're from Arkansas, you know! Door!
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
911 help. Hello?
Never mind, forget it. You're so stupid 😡😡😡😡😏
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.