Yours jokes

Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

Police officers hope you’re a criminal.

Doctors hope you get sick.

Mechanics hope you get car troubles.

But only thieves wish you prosperity.

Weird?

What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!

Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?

Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!

I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.

I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!