Yours jokes
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.
Is your MBTI type INFP? Cause you're so FiNe.
My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!
If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.
You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.
If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
One time, there was a happy little girl. One day, her teacher asked how many legs and arms a pineapple have. She said,
"You know those pokey things on it? That's how many."
Teacher says, "That's dumb. They have zero." Then the next day, the girl set a fire in her house, and she burned her legs and arms. Then she survived and went to school. Then the teacher said, "I heard your house went on fire, and by the way, you know you don't have no arms or legs, right?" The girl said, "OK." Then the teacher asked the question the teacher asked yesterday again. She said, "What do you call a girl with no legs or arms?" The teacher said, "Answer my question!" The girl said, "OK, OK, the girl said 13." The teacher said, "Pineapples do not even have legs!"
Then the teacher had to calm down. Then the teacher said to the girl, "Ask a question. Whatever you want." Then the girl said, "Ok, and I'm sorry, teacher." Teacher said, "It's ok, I need a break." The girl said, "What do you call a girl without legs or arms?" Someone from the class, her name was Nia, she said, "A worm." She said, "NO!!!" The teacher said, "Calm down. Just tell us what!" The girl said, "OK then." The girl said it.......
And y'all who is reading my story, guess what the answer is before I tell you and by the way the girl's name is Sunny. Back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE! Then when the teacher was calm, she told her to sit down. Then the teacher read a story, "The Three Little Pigs." Then the girl went home, she got a new house, then lived happily ever after.
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
Pokemon Jokes!
What do you do when your Loudred evolves?
Buy more earplugs!
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.