Yours jokes

Line

    • What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?

    You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"

    Shooter

    • VOTING SEMIFINAL 1

    LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

    DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.

    Vote for the better joke.

    Orphan

    • Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?

    Orphan: Parent signature: ___________

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    • Ice Cream

    • The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.

    Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!

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    • Yours memes

    Mom

    • When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

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    • Bathroom

    • You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?

    You're-a-peein'. European.

    Mum

    • Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

    Orphan

    • The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

    The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

    The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

    The students said, "Your parents."

    The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

    Woman

    • A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.

    The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.

    The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.

    "Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.

    The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."

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    • Adult

    • What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?

    Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.

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    • Stall

    • If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?

    Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.

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    • Dick

    • Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.

    Life

    • Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.

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