Yours jokes

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.

If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.

How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

His dick tastes funny...

The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.

At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.

Fancy playing rodeo sex?

"OK then," she said!

Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!

Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.

"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.

"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"

If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.

If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."

So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.

What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.

When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”

Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.

How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?

Stop eating caterpillars.

Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!

Orphan: *sits there sadly*

Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!

Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!