Yours jokes
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!
Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED!
Fell Papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!
How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?
His dick tastes funny...
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet? Beets stain your teeth.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?" Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Gays, blacks, and your maw, mate.