Yours jokes

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

Why do sisters hate you?

Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!

Yo, sis, come here.

Sis: What?

Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?

Sis: Yup.

Me: Can I go?

Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.

Me: I love you.

What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.

What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.

Your face is a joke.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?

Free service for tit holding!

“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”

If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!