Yours jokes
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
Girl: Hey. Boy: Hi? Girl: I need to tell you something... Boy: WHAT? Girl: I like you. Boy: And I hate you. Boy: YOU'RE A CHICKEN 🐔🐔 🐔 Girl: I HATE YOU YOU POOP 💩💩💩💩 Girl: LOSER L Boy: I thought you said you liked me. Girl: SHUT UP CHICKEN/POOP 💩💩🐔 🐔 Boy: GIRL BYE Girl: Bye Felicia.
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
If your dad said, "Take out the trash," he means to take you out.
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.
Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
Up your butt with a coconut!
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.