Yours jokes
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
Your dad's a cunt.
You're so ugly, even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than you!
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.