Yours jokes
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.
There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"
She replies with, "These are my headlights."
He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."
So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."
Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"
Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
Your mom!