Yours jokes

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.

Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.

Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.

You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.

You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.

What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?

Once they turn 18, they never come back.

Your mama is so ugly even the trolls threw up.

You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.

Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!

Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"

Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)