Yours jokes
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
Your hairline's so far up, they call it a skyline!
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
Your hairline goes back to the first century.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"