New Yours Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.

All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.

A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"

What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?

"Mine is meatier than yours."

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese!

If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.

Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."

Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"

Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.

A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."

"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"

Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"

The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."

"What the FU***** SH**"

Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”