Yours jokes
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Your mom gay.
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, and some actually cover your butt when you need them.
Submit a joke :-)
Your love life.
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF