Yours jokes

If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!

So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.

So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"

So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Fishes.

Fishes who?

Fishes the police, come out with your hands up!

What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.

What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

Ooh! I know a joke!

(Papyrus) What is it?

(Sans) Knock knock!

(Papyrus) Uh... who's there?

(Sans) Sans

(Papyrus) Sans who?

(Sans) SANS IS LAZY!!!!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SOCKS BEFORE I SHOVE MY SPAGHETTI INTO YOUR MOUTH!

(Papyrus)

My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?

Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.

Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.

Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-

Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.

Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?

If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.

The man says, "Will you move your dog?"

The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.

The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"

Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.

Think of your favorite singer. Now, go ask someone what is your favorite singer. My favorite singer is Halsey, BTS. Now think about your least fave, mine is Oil London 😵. This is my home now.

1. What rhymes with "oil"? Put it in da chat. Bye weird people!

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

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