Yours jokes
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?
That don't make no cents.
I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."