Yours jokes
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
I found your parent!
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
What is a testicle's favorite book?
Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.
You're so fat, when you say the n-word, boogers come out.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!