Yours jokes

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”

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One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.

What do you call a nacho that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Why is a priest different from acne?

Acne waits to come on your face.

You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.

Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!