You're jokes
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
Your mom!
Your hairline is an artificial fact.
Is your tap water running well?
Beta, go catch it!
Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops.
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"