You're jokes
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
What's the difference between anal and oral?
Oral makes your day whereas anal makes your whole weak.
(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
What time do you have when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
10 dicks up your mom's ass!
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"
"Joe momma" is called that because it means "you're a mistake."
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Your hairline starts at the back of your head.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.