You're jokes

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

I wasn't looking at you, your big forehead was distracting me.

Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?

Because your mother had diabetes.

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

Your mom is fat.

Oooo, roasted!

If you boil your funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.

Why should you lose your virginity to an autistic person?

Because virginity needs to be lost with someone special.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

Your Nan is dead.

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

When your friend moves to Texas and she comes back a cowgirl.

YEEEHAWW!

Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.

Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.