You're jokes

You look like your mom and your dad had a child.

When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,

So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"

I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.

In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.

You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...

Inela, your hairline goes so far back I remember seeing it in the stone age! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

Even Michael Jordan can't dunk from your hairline! 🤣🤣

Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"

So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."

They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing, they both ran off.

Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!

What do you do when your cat's dead?

Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.

Roses are red, lemons are sour.

Spread your legs and give me an hour.

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.