You're jokes
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
When you find out your great grandpa killed Hitler.
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"
Your dad is gone.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!