You're jokes

You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

"Get off your computer, Jessie Jex."

You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.

Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe, just maybe you'll find a brain back there!

You're built like a double cheeseburger.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?

"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!

Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."

What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."

So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.

Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.

Lil Jimmy: Why?

Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.

Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!