You're jokes
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.
Like if your dad is abusive.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"