You're jokes
I like your mom naked.
That chromosome gon' leave just like your hairline. 😗😮😮
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"