You're jokes
Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.
What do you call a nacho that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why is a priest different from acne?
Acne waits to come on your face.
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*