You're jokes

Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.

Me, calls the police*

Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.

What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?

Your mum!!!

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

You're so poor, you lick postcards for food.

You're so poor, you like postcards for food.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

Me: Hey, are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.

The earth was flat until they buried your mom.

Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.