Your Mom Jokes

You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

Lol, this joke may not be funny, but what do you call your mom fat and emo?

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.

i like to make your mom jokes

because there easy like your mom

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

Your Mom is so fat she can be trumps border wall

Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.

It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.

Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.

Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏

Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:

This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕

Your hairline and your mom go way back.

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.