You jokes
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.
What do you call a simp, Adrian?
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.