You jokes

Never gonna give you up.

No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

The seventh door.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

What do you get when you cut an onion?

Onion jizz.

All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.

You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.

You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!

After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.

Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?

Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.

What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?

Hairy Potter.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.