You jokes
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
Are you a Pikachu?
Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!
Pokemon
What do you call a person with a fat brain?
A fat neek!
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"