You jokes

What do you call a fat Chinese guy?

A double chinkey.

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?

Person: Big black what?

Riddler: ...

Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.

You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"

Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?

I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.

"Who am I?"

Why can't you hear a dinosaur clap? They're dead.

What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?

Time to walk with your dog 🐶!

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.

I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!

You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.

What do you call a simp, Adrian?

You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.

Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.