You jokes

Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.

"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"

What do you call staring stares?

Stares.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

You.

You who?

Who do you see over there???

Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

Kids changing the channel to Annie.

Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.

What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?

A family portrait!

What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"

How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?

Tell him you don’t believe in dog.

What did the glove say to his girlfriend?

I glove you!

What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?

What in the Robot!?

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.

Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.

How do you get an emo out of the tree?

You cut the rope.

What do you give a sick lemon?

A lemon-aid.

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.

I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.