You jokes
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
Memes
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming!
What do you call 2 wings and a halo?
A Chinese phone call: "Wing wing halo!" 🤪
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
Your mum... payed other people to take you!!!!
I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair with a gun? A rxd.
Fortnite battle pass, I just shit out my ass. The school: You did what?