You jokes

Do you know Ligma... potatoes?

Do you know Ligma?

Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!

How does a disabled person play chess?

I think you forgot they don't have legs.

Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.

Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.

Jesse: Do you like my ball?

Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?

Jesse: No, they do not leave me.

You: You are such a flick pain.

Me: You are flick pain to my sight.

Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭

Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?

What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.

Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming!

I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.

I'll let you decide.

What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"

Your forehead is so big that you dream on IMAX.

If an orphan took a picture, what would you call it? A family photo.

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.

I have a joke about doors, but you can't handle it!😂