You jokes
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
Aaron, you glad I didn't make this joke?
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?
Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.
What do you call an orphan's home?
No home.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Me: (quiet)
Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.
Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*