You jokes
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Low quality
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?
AR-15: Who are you?
Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.
When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
What do you call a phone that talks?
A reader in a leader.
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
If you're looking at this, then look behind you!
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn