You jokes

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

2 7 73 53.

I'll give you time, figure it out.

Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!

What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?

Panera is dead.

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

Do you know Joe?

Joe who?

Joe *boom*.

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

What do you call an orphan's family portrait?

A selfie.

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!

Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.

You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.