You jokes

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.

Crush: "How much do you love me?"

Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

Crush: "But it's morning."

Me: "Exactly."

When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?

Just barely hugging you! Lol.

My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"

Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen

Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

Boy: *scares girl*

Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"

Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*

Girl: What work?

Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"

GBM when he sees Soph (gets a boner) and has sex with Soph but realizes he forgot to put on a condom. Soph: "This is why Arsenal fans are so deluded and retarded."

Normal Fans after they lose the game: Good game, you guys played really well. GBM: "BRO REF WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU DELUDED ASS RETARD, OMFG WE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS REF!"

Adapt: Hey Adapt, did you know you're smart? Smart for being retarded. Yo Adapt!! You're so stupid that you gave me your Roblox account info and you said thanks about it!!

Barca fans after the LFC vs Barca game: We bottled it, damn it, we'll win the Copa Del Rey tho. Commie after the LFC vs Barca game: "YOU NEVER WALK ALONEEEEEEEEEE" Normal People: I support only 1 team. Commie: I support Barca, LFC, and AEK!! And I'm the biggest plastic in the server!!