You jokes

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?

Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!

Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!

Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!

Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.

You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.

Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?

Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.

Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?

"Why is my name Rose?"

"A rose fell on your head when you were born."

"Why is my name Daisy?"

"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."

"Bedrock is better than Java!"

"Oh, hi Brick!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.

I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.

Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.