You Jokes

Wheelchair

What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?

Cooking the vegetables.

Rose

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Cow

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".

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  • Pig

    Teacher: Ok class, good morning. We are going to start off by asking what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says "moo moo."

    Teacher: Good!

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says "baa baaa."

    Teacher: Good! Now, what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall, you stupid mother fucker!"

    Cow

    Teacher: What does a pig give you?

    Little Johnny: Bacon.

    Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

    Little Johnny: Wool.

    Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

    Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

  • 1
  • Pig

    Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says, "moo moo."

    Teacher: Good.

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says, "baa baaa."

    Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall you black mother fucke*!"

    Pig

    Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says mo mo.

    Teacher: Good.

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

    Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

    Side

    Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

    Drink

    A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"

    Hand

    Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.

    Cat

    If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.

    Paint

    Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

    Suicide

    Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!

    If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?

    That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)

    Insult

    Gwen, don't worry, everyone hates you, by the way! Have anything to say? Then who cares? You can't stop me.

    Unknown person is going to give you a hint of who hates you...we were in a club, a meeting...btw this is you!

    [Image of Gwen]

    Later, Bitch!!!!!!!!