You jokes

What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?

MC Healer.

What do you call a rapper who's also a GARDENER?

Snoop Soddy Sod.

What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?

Snooze Dogg.

What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?

The second hour is free.

What's the difference between a joke and three cocks? You can't take a joke.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?

Put ranch dressing on it.

My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."

I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."

What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.

What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Well, probably the person in front of them.

What’s the difference between rape and marriage?

With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.